Saturday, August 05, 2006
my life have been kept really busy over the past few weeks... my thoughts were heavily invaded..
tests coming n go as swiftly as time juz flew..
during the past week n this week, i spent my time trying to clear all the confusion i might have in my brain.. trying to avoid the thoughts tt will send me into confusion as much as they could penetrate my beliefs, faith n direction of thoughts.. i cannot clearly state whether i've overcome it or not.. n i cannot deny tt i may be constantly thinking of it... i will nt start saying wad.. cos i will prevent tt frm happening.. other than tt.. i will say i m trying to avoid its increase in magnitude tt will bother.. rather than i have successfully accept or conquer it..
i wont bother worrying if anyone is capable of understanding wad i m writing cos.. i m treating this as if i m talking to myself..
i finally admitted tt i m indeed a deep thinker..
i guess accepting tt have help me to feel much better..
these days.. seems like many ppl r seeking a person to confide to.. likewise i muz say i found myself doing the same thing too..
my heart's been searching for a confidant i think.. to see my urge to talk to someone..
in any case i guess after thursday, i've managed to cope with negative comments targetted at me..
i understood the truthfulness of the fact tt one mayb capable of providing advice or guidance, but incapable of guiding ownself..
to realise tt.. i've realised how much guidance i should be giving myself..
once i told a person...
y be so bothered abt how other ppl look n comment abt u..
wadever ppl have said abt u is their personal judgements formed into thoughts, opinionated with ther visual discoveries..
how much of wad is said is nt clouded by perceptions n hearsay.
how much truthfulness, honesty, feelings n thoughts were spent on making tt comment?
after all, are all of the above so impt? u have to qn urself..
i have discovered how unvoidable it is to feel something towards comments n weapons of defamy? distraught, unhappiness, hurt or upset? let it come but understand its occurrence n it will pass.. den u will feel how naive to spent ur time feeling upset abt the comments other give?
unless the comments were truthful.. consider the reasons for comments..
the part i refuse to swell on.. life goes on..
i will stop talking abt all of these complicating stuff.. cos they will never end..
i have nt found myself as a person who blogs as if to report daily events.. esp at this time.. everything pass n go very quickly..
but still i have to highlight some things..
wed, thurs, fri mel went to biopolis for some bio idp course or something.. missing out a lot of lessons..
i m confident of her ability to cope with the many things at hand n keep at tip-top condition.. of course i will do my part n wadever necessary to ensure tt she has nt missed much over the past few days.. i hope she have enjoyed tt experience at biopolis.. it was a rare chance
anyway this week's been rather torturing.. tests, hmk, assignments.. really glad e weekend has arrived.. nt to remind myself options test's nxt mon.. plus e piling hmk..
been exercising a lot over e 2 weeks..reason, to keep a clear mind, relieve stress n definitely to keep fit..
it doesnt take too much time, at most 1h each time, at least once a week, up to 3 times..
i enjoy running esp.. among many other activities..
these days when i am alone..
some ppl have been coming to me, providing some company.. like the sweet cleaning lady whom surprised me by recognising me since a long ago during shooting camp... n also some other friends..
i m really grateful towards them, for keeping me company..
every single person i regarded much as a gift..
a gift tt i will treasure so much..
i m surprised with their sudden appearances that have very much help me to calm my mind or juz rid me of loneliness..
thank you very much!
it's getting really late.. n i m really tired, exhausted.. didnt expect to type so much..
so till next time... gd nite!
~ walk through life being you♥