'A' results coming out this friday...

i m so..
troubled...
worried..
afraid...
petrified..

every night i went to slp with thoughts tt scare myself totally..
thoughts tt i cant help thinking of..

i hope i can do well..
i hope my sis can too..

these two years of struggling n working so hard.. n trying not to give up..

sigh..

time passed so fast..

oh.. sis n i quiting soon..

we can say bb to tt b**** soon!:)

~ walk through life being you♥


ages since i last posted... always the same reason... i cant believe i actually tolerated all of these things happening around me.. n actually written a post tt expressed so much optimism.. i guess it was a spur of moment or something.. i thought it can help me feel better.. or inspire me at least every other time i am upset..
how naively thought.......i could escape from the evil clutches of reality instead of nt realising tt i was just running away..
pathetic.. self-imposed... seemingly there.. optimism..
i thought i can forget all of these things.. disregard these things tt was supposed to b mediocre, unimportant in life.. these little things..
m i being calculative?
but these r the things tt prove my consciousness rite? to prove tt i m aware..
they happen all the time...
so much tt if i keep disregarding them... keep quiet.. forget...
there is no much left in my mind tt records wad i have been doing..
the fact is i cant forget..
i just merely hide them at the back of my mind temporary..


i m surprised of myself..
the many times tt i wanted to break down n cry..
just a few drops came..
n i actually stopped myself from continuing..

i dunno y i did tt..
cos there isnt any use for crying?
cos no one gives a damn?

i so successfully prevented myself from crying.....

sometimes i get jealous of ppl
even my own sis..
even as she talks to her fren on the phone now..
y?
ha.
i used to b able to think of at least one person i can call up n confide in him/her abt everything.. everything.. even smallest thing i was upset abt..
now.
i cant think of anyone.
nt even one person hu cares abt proving to me tt i can trust n confide in him/her.
nt even a person who will give me a hug tt she/he really meant it
frens?
wad are frens?
how do u define a fren?



sometimes i cant believe tt my mum can say/act things tt hurt me.. does she realise tt she actually is hurting me?
CNY for me is nt like most ppl.. collecting hongbaos n happily counting how much money there is.



shld i always b the one making the effort?


i m sorry.. everything here has no link.. every sentence may have absolutely no link with each other...
so i suggest anybody reading.. stop reading..
i m tryin to spill my thoughts onto this "paper"


i dont ask much frm my parents.. i dont seek material goods.. i dun behave like those teens who have idols.. n spent money on entertainment or self satisfying goods..

i jus hope for a happy family.. n myself to get good 'a' level results.
i no longer yearn for even a emotional companion..

m i asking too much?


my sis bought inline skates for herself...
the money she earned..

i paid for a pair of jeans... the most expensive pair of jeans i ever bought.. 39.90.. to many its cheap la.. but for me its different..

nt to mention my bro bought LEE jeans.. billabong.. n each n nearly every item of his is branded? he spent almost a thousand on his mountain bike n accessories ba? i wonder how many of those he did pay for himself..
yup i still like my jeans very very much..
but i dunno y....


am i wrong to say tt they hog the computer every day n everytime?
yes. ha. cos i finally gt a chance now.

m i supposed to feel happy n grateful when my sis ask me whether i want to use the com after she finished using when i feel like doing something else?
m i supposed to obediently accept her offer n say thank you?
say good gracious finally?






had wanted to blog abt chinese new year.. where i went these few days..
wad i did n stuff..
but i m presently in nt so high spirits to talk abt them.. plus.. they werent very very very wonderful, happy, enjoyable trips..

'a's results coming out soon.. i m really very scared.



melissa's mum is a great cook.
shld i even b there in the first place?

Happy Chinese New Year to all!

~ walk through life being you♥


aiya... so lazy to blog le.......
so sian................
think i fell asleep today while marking...
so sian.............................
make more love letters on fri......
a bit lazy to upload the photos...
last sat went to jj luv fiesta..
didnt do much, buy anything or see anything...
wasnt enjoyable at all until my sis arrived at 5 plus when the event is like nearly over... haha... nvm.. i was glad tt she was here when i needed her to b by my side.. luv her forever... these are the second batch of love letters we made...

some photos i took at luv fiesta..

cute rite?

alrite... i going to cut fruits le.. till then!

~ walk through life being you♥