abt 2 more weeks left to the final battle...
i have drawn up a sort of rough plan of action..
i can feel the tension building up..
so i guess this blog shld stay stagnant for a while.. probably a month until the exams finish n i shall prevent myself frm getting near the com
ok gtg now for lunch
bye!

~ walk through life being you♥


------------------------
lo behold
wishes peaches
green forsaken
cream so shrewd
up the blues
look

listen thy
oaths orchids
black dancing
white so deep
hear the thoughts
search

guess no truth
feel it blind
sense it
belong
-------------------------

~ walk through life being you♥


early post prelims relaxing was very much limited... other than helping my mum do house work, watching ye yan with my sis, play bb n com games... there's nthing much i did... now nt in the mood to talk abt the movie...

gt back the prelim papers le... so so.. no outstandin performance nor upsetting performance... well... there are many ppl in the class excelling in all the subjs... i dont think tt gave me any motivation though.. more demoralised.. dunno lah.. at this pt of time.. everybody is muggin like crazy for this last lap.. who will care abt their blogs.. their friends or anything else...

i dunno, i guess it is getting more depressing each day looking at a particular grp of ppl... muggin together... disregarding others' presence... well nt tt i dont support study grps.. cos i do.. but it is this 'selfishness' tt i feel upset abt... perhaps one might say tt it cos i nt in one.. den i m jealous or wadsoever.. i dont really care..
some ppl may work together juz bcos of the presence of common interest or they have obligations to one another... or mayb they really come to be gd friens with one another.... i dun think i m in the right position to qn tt existing relationship between them.. it's quite none of my business..

doubts aside... i want to try to exclude tt disturbing presence in my thoughts'

wadever the case is.. forget it... i hope i cope well with my things..

well i m still remaining doubtful abt talking to some person abt my own personal emotions thoughts n feelings.. most of the time.. it's either tt person dun bother to listen cos he/she doesnt have e time to or have other more impt things to attend to den u.. or they wouldnt understand nor try to understand.. they dont question the things u questions.. nor think as deeply as u wld... sometimes u will juz feel unsafe..

whether u believe it or nt.. i honestly feel tt i m always sincere in my ways in mendling with relationships...
but sometimes it is juz so upsetting..
when u want to be simple n hope tt others can be too... they r never..
existing doubts, uncertainty n questioning ur motives r suspicious ppl.. often cunning n pleasant looking on the appearance..
some times i juz hope to tell them of.. ask them wad they think i m trying to exploit frm them.. wad do i benefit when i m nice to them..

to all my there or nt there fellowmen n friens.. i hope u all will nt question my honestly n sincerity.. i feel deeply hurt n insulted.. dun distort ur image in me...

so ironic yet so true... in real life...
it is hard to tell wad is right n wad is fake..

after saying so much i hope i have lift n cast away the disturbing presence of wad many would claim as 'irrational thoughts'

wadever the case is.. at this pt of time with exams closing in.. who cares? haha.. guess neither shld i too..
haha.
work hard.. i hope i can...

~ walk through life being you♥