there are many times i feel tt theres a need to blog, to find a space to let out steam.. to complain.. to...

but i realised that most of the time i only blogged when i felt happier..
dunno y... but still when i look back now... i realised tt my posting really isnt regular.. i guess its either i am/was very very busy or i am/was always feeling unhappy.. or both.. haha.. i guess i've always been very emo.

sometimes i really wish tt there is a chance to change things...
or there is someone who will really willingly, wholeheartedly, sincerely listen to me..
i'm glad i've my sis, and tt is said with my whole heart..
yet sometimes.. well.. she faces the same probs.. it'll really irritate to hear the same things...

since i dunno when i've been living in my own bubble.. hoping that everything else that is happening will not affect me.. actually i'm also not very sure is i build the bubble myself.. or the surroundings build the invisibe wall..
well i realised tt it didnt block any negativities from seeping through.. while i continue to 'enjoy' my seemingly there 'personal life', not talking to anybody unnecessarily, anything ore wadsoever...

i guess ppl always expect u to have a motive or some reason when u call them, talk to them or wad..
so i dont interrupt anybody.. and hope that no one will interrupt me..

i called her only when i really cant control, only when i cant stand things any longer, when my heart n mind are realy failing me..

everytime i thank her for picking up the phone.. most of the time because there really isnt anyone else i could call.. but i realised everytime i doubt the presence.. regret calling.. well you can say it doesnt really matter whether it is there or not.. as long as u let out ur steam.. bla.. bla..
but still i always wish that it's there.. i dunno really, whether or not its there in the first place.. cos i didnt ask her.. i guess i wasnt brave enough to either face the truth or hear her ans... but i always doubt it.. i wonder if she ever thinks about it at all.. is it not at all impt? or she doesnt dare to say? or wad.. sometimes i get really irritated.. yes, i m like tt.. i always think too much.. i hope u are thinking straight though.. not guessing anything crooked.. haha.. but i must admit.. it's really because i dont have many 'real' frens to think, talk, or wadever abt..
i wonder if she's 'real' in the first place.. haha.. i m at it again..

forget it, let's not talk about tt... so emo u might think.. lol..

things that happen at home always cause me to develop a strong detest..

ok ok let's just stop here.. i guess i really dont like to talk about unhappy things..

~ walk through life being you♥