Monday, June 12, 2006
there's something wrong with the tagboard again.. i will fix it soon.. anyway thnks anonymouse for ya concern.. the scream was there... becos it represents wad i feel like doing, wad i was going to try do.. wad has been done.. n its outcome...
many times i've found myself in a terrible mess, an unsettled confusion.. my mind, my life n my work...
many times i've found myself on the verge on giving up, i m nt sure if i've given up.. or i haven..
but i noe i need to continue..
many times i've known the lack in control, determination, strength n fighting spirit in myself..
but i noe i cant go on like this...
many times i m so frustrated abt my incapability to do wad i shld do... n abt my own complaints n yet nt doing anything abt it...
many times i found myself hating myself..
i found myself struggling to accept the reality.. struggling to stand up straight n face it...
i want to fulfill my dreams.. yet i m in partial disbelief tt i can do it..
many times i've told myself to persevere, to never give up n work on to it.. to believe tt it will be able to come true if i've worked hard enough.. be it regarding shooting or studies..
i dunno if it is cos i didnt work hard enough.. i work hard the wrong way, or something else's wrong..
many times i feeling like giving up.. n tired of working n going on... i've fought for it.. n had always lost...
i m nt brave anymore..
i dont have the determination anymore..
i m scared of failing after so many failures...
my life's in jeopardy... but i noe i gotta move on...
i've got to..
n i hope i will reorganise myself..
pick myself up..
n do wad i can again.
~ walk through life being you♥